Before We Are Anything Else
Why Humanity Must Remain Our Highest Loyalty
There is an old question that quietly sits beneath almost every disagreement we have, though we rarely stop to ask it.
To whom does my highest loyalty belong?
Is it my family? My nation? My religion? My politics? My identity? My own deeply held convictions?
Perhaps the answer to that question matters more than any particular position we take. Because wherever our highest loyalty rests, it will inevitably shape how we see everyone else.
In his Farewell Address, George Washington warned the young republic about what he called “the baneful effects of the spirit of party.” He had watched nations fracture when loyalty to factions became greater than loyalty to the common good. Political parties, he believed, could become so consumed with defeating one another that they would eventually forget the nation they were meant to serve.
More than two centuries later, his warning feels remarkably modern.
Yet I wonder if Washington’s concern reaches beyond politics. Perhaps the spirit of party was never confined to political parties at all. Perhaps it describes something far more deeply rooted in human nature.
We all belong to parties.
Some are political. Others are religious. Some are national, cultural, philosophical, professional, or even familial. We gather around shared identities because they provide belonging, purpose, and meaning. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. In fact, community is one of humanity’s greatest strengths.
The danger begins when our loyalty to the group eclipses our loyalty to humanity itself.
History is filled with ordinary people committing extraordinary acts of cruelty, not because they believed themselves to be evil, but because they believed themselves to be loyal. Loyal to a nation. Loyal to a religion. Loyal to an ideology. Loyal to a cause.
Even our own sense of self can become a kind of party. We defend our beliefs, justify our actions, and protect our identities with the same determination that nations defend borders.
Perhaps the question is not whether we belong to tribes. We always will.
The real question is this:
To whom, or to what, does our highest loyalty belong?
There is nothing inherently wrong with belonging.
In fact, I would argue the opposite. We are social creatures. We naturally gather around shared beliefs, common goals, mutual interests, and collective identities. Family, friendships, communities, professions, nations, religions, philosophies, and even hobbies all provide us with a sense of connection. They help answer one of humanity’s oldest questions: Where do I belong?
The problem has never been belonging.
The problem begins when belonging becomes blindness.
Every tribe, no matter how noble its purpose, carries a quiet temptation. It invites us to see the world through its own eyes. Over time, we begin defending not only its virtues, but also its flaws. We excuse behavior from those who stand beside us while condemning the very same behavior in those who stand across from us. What would outrage us if done by “them” suddenly becomes understandable when done by “us.”
That is the spirit of party.
The tribe itself is rarely the enemy. It becomes dangerous only when our loyalty to it grows larger than our loyalty to truth, compassion, or humanity itself.
The more I reflect on this, the more I realize that we belong to far more tribes than we usually recognize. We may identify as conservatives or progressives, Christians or Buddhists, scientists or artists, men or women, Americans or Canadians. We may define ourselves by our race, our profession, our generation, our favorite sports team, or even our preferred operating system. We laugh because it sounds absurd, yet anyone who has spent five minutes on the internet knows people will passionately defend almost anything.
Even the self can become its own tribe. We protect our opinions, defend our reputations, and cling to our identities because they have become part of how we understand ourselves.
Perhaps the goal is not to abandon our tribes. They enrich our lives in countless ways.
Rather, it is to remember that every tribe exists within something infinitely larger.
No identity, ideology, institution, or tribe should command greater loyalty than the flourishing of humanity itself.
If our highest loyalty should not belong to a political party, a religion, a nation, or even our own sense of self, then where should it belong?
For me, the answer has gradually become less about finding the right ideology and more about asking the right questions.
Before defending a belief...
Before supporting a policy...
Before joining a movement...
Before deciding whether something is good or bad...
I think we should pause and ask ourselves three simple questions.
Does this reduce suffering?
Not just my suffering. Not just the suffering of those who think like me or belong to my community. Human suffering.
It is remarkably easy to justify causing pain when we believe it only affects “them.” History reminds us that “them” has been one of the most dangerous words humanity has ever invented. If our beliefs require us to ignore unnecessary suffering simply because it belongs to another tribe, perhaps it is our beliefs, rather than our enemies, that deserve closer examination.
Does this increase well-being?
Reducing suffering is important, but it is not enough. A person who merely survives is not necessarily flourishing. Well-being asks a broader question. Does this create the conditions for people to live meaningful, healthy, creative, and fulfilling lives? Does it strengthen families, communities, and society as a whole? Does it leave future generations better equipped to thrive than we were?
A society can eliminate one hardship while quietly creating another. We should be careful not to mistake short-term victories for long-term flourishing.
Does this deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world?
This may be the question I return to most often.
Reality has never cared what I believe. It remains exactly as it is regardless of my opinions, my politics, or my preferences. If my understanding of the world is incomplete, I do not improve reality by insisting that I am right. I simply become less capable of navigating it.
Every one of us views the world through experiences, assumptions, hopes, fears, and biases. None of us sees it perfectly. That is why understanding demands humility. It asks us to remain willing to say, “Perhaps I have missed something.”
None of these questions can stand alone.
Reducing suffering without understanding can unintentionally create greater suffering tomorrow.
Pursuing well-being without compassion can leave many people behind.
Seeking understanding without concern for human suffering can become cold and detached.
Like the legs of a three-legged stool, each supports the others. Remove one, and the entire structure becomes unstable.
Perhaps wisdom is not found in giving one principle absolute authority.
Perhaps wisdom is found in learning to hold all three in balance.
Over the years, these reflections have gradually taken shape as the foundation of a simple ethical framework I call Trisamanvaya Mārga, The Path of Harmonized Balance. Despite its name, it is not a religion, a doctrine, or another ideology asking for allegiance. It is simply a method of examination.
Whenever I find myself wrestling with a difficult question, I try to return to the same three considerations.
Does this reduce suffering?
Does this increase well-being?
Does this deepen understanding?
The answers are not always obvious. Sometimes they even pull against one another. A painful truth may increase suffering in the short term while leading to greater well-being in the future. Compassion without understanding may unintentionally create new forms of suffering. Understanding without compassion can become cold and detached. The goal is not perfection. It is to honestly seek the greatest balance we can with the knowledge we currently possess.
Perhaps that is why I no longer believe our highest loyalty should belong to any identity, ideology, institution, or tribe.
Our highest loyalty should belong to humanity itself.
That does not mean abandoning our convictions. Quite the opposite. Love your family. Serve your community. Be proud of your nation. Practice your faith. Defend your principles. Stand for what you believe is right.
Just remember why those things matter.
They exist to serve people.
The moment we begin sacrificing people for the sake of an identity, an ideology, or a tribe, we have reversed the proper order. The institution has become more important than the human being. The cause has become more important than compassion. The victory has become more important than wisdom.
George Washington warned us about the spirit of party because he understood how easily our loyalties become disordered. More than two centuries later, I believe his warning reaches further than politics. It speaks to every identity we hold and every tribe to which we belong.
Perhaps the measure of a life is not found in how fiercely we defended our own side, but in whether our presence left humanity a little less burdened, a little more flourishing, and a little wiser than we found it.
Because before we are conservatives or progressives...
Before we are Christians or Buddhists...
Before we are Americans or Canadians...
Before we are men or women...
Before we are anything else...
we are human beings.
And no identity, ideology, institution, or tribe should command greater loyalty than the flourishing of humanity itself.
The world does not need fewer communities, fewer convictions, or fewer people willing to stand for what they believe.
It needs people courageous enough to remember that every belief, every institution, every nation, every philosophy, and every tribe exists to serve humanity, never the other way around.
Perhaps wisdom is not found in choosing the right side.
Perhaps it begins by remembering that, before there were sides at all, there were simply people.
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—The Bathrobe Guy (Robes)
Robes every time I've been trying to post and tell you how much I always love your brilliant wise words. I'm still in the hospital from the stem cell transplant. tell everyone on the porch hello
This reminded me how much suffering comes from believing we have to become worthy before we can belong. Every identity we acquire has its place, but beneath all of them there is something that doesn't need to earn its existence. Remembering that doesn't diminish our humanity. It allows us to live it with greater freedom and compassion.